alone tonight
by Vilinye
Summary: One-shots for the Tenth Doctor.
1. help me

Vague spoilers for Journey's End regarding Donna Noble

Help Me

The Master heard drums when he looked into the Untempered Schism; the Doctor heard a cry, just two words. _Help me. _And much like the Master, the sound has never gone away.

These ears have heard those words so many times since the day Rose whispered it as a spinning Christmas tree approached. But it still sounds strange coming from his own lips as he looks up at Wilf. "Help me."

Donna's limp body weighs less than the pain in his hearts. _Help me. _It's a confession of inadequacy, of weakness.

Of humanity, he supposes.


	2. alone tonight

They will not find a strange body on the sidewalk. He loves Earth, but the only place for it to end is the TARDIS. In any case, it would cause a paradox for his body to lie beneath Rose's window months before he met her.

It would be easier to give up, die in the snow. They are all taken care of—all of them, all the ones who broke his hearts. The TARDIS hums in his mind; it must share his dread. For it gave him this final gift.

Perfect navigation for once; time to tell them all goodbye.


	3. lost in translation

"Oye, don't get clever in Latin!" Donna snaps back at him.

He lets the comment pass; her exuberance is more valuable than explaining the intricacies of the TARDIS' translation circuits. For the companions, it's simple enough: the TARDIS uses their native language. But he has more options:

English. Learned from long years of exile, it is his default setting.

Inter-setting. He hears the words as they sound in the native language, but understands them clearly. This setting is mostly used between companions as a distraction, and also how he learned to speak Judoon.

Gallifreyan. The TARDIS' initial setting. For the first few years of his exile, he left it there, as a reminder of his own people. But after the Time War, it hurt too much to 'hear' his native tongue coming from the mouths of Sontarans and Silurians.

His dreams are bilingual, multilingual—almost monolingual. Rose's first night in the TARDIS, he dreamt of the Time Lords; they spoke English. And the wraths of past companions spoke Gallifreyan, from Ian and Barbara to Grace Holloway.

Always, the reminders that he is the last of his people. That's why he hears everything in English.

Anyway, the TARDIS seems to like it.


	4. he's sorry

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

The first thing he says to most people is "Hello, I'm the Doctor."

The second is "I'm sorry."

Sometimes he never gets to his title—just the apology. Maybe it is actually his fault—abandoning Sarah Jane on earth all those years ago, bringing Rose home a year late. Maybe his only fault is not being omnipotent, not able to save everyone while saving the world.

*****Definition of SORRY*****

_1 feeling sorrow, regret, or penitence _

_2 mournful, sad _

_3 inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule _

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Maybe that was the name he never told anyone.

*****Definition of APOLOGY*****

_1 a formal justification _

_2 an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret a public apology_

_3 a poor substitute _

Sorry is a condition. Apologize is the verb. A hundred grammar teachers would be chasing him down if they knew of his abuse of the English language. But they'd have to get in line behind the Daleks, Cybermen, Sycorax, Silurians, Racnoss, Slitheen...the avengers of those left dead in his wake.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

*****Definition of SORRY*****

_1 feeling sorrow, regret, or penitence _

_2 mournful, sad _

_3 inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule _


	5. double you

Some people have extra sheets lying around; some people have extra socks missing mates. But the Doctor has an extra self. A half-human, half-Time Lord biological meta-crisis. He's had one or two duplicates running around before—there was that Auton copy, and the short-lived versions of himself and Leela on Titan, but those were self-disposing.

Some people can't look at themselves in the mirror. The Doctor can't look at his other self, the man wearing his blue suit, who committed genocide against his—their?—fatal enemy. The one who loves his companion, Rose Tyler.

For some reason, a child's tune runs through his head. _A B C D E F G…_The alphabet song, sung by human children to learn so they can write and read… _T U V W_ …

W. Double-you. His double would have no need of the alphabet song to learn reading and writing. He was born knowing everything the Doctor had accumulated over the past nine hundred years; all the dreams, all the joys, all the pains.

How do you dispose of yourself when there are two of you?

Would the second one protest? He knew himself well… The Doctor, the original, looked up and met his own eyes.

_ The Doctor-Donna, the human-Doctor…_


	6. kissing

Her lips feel so soft on his, like moss on crumbling stone walls. Joan Redfern, so sweet and caring…

He has done this before. But the memory that appears in his mind cannot be his own—a thin man in a leather jacket and a girl blazing with golden light. _ I think you need a doctor. _ Underneath the glow, she resembles the girl in his dreams. What was her name again—Rachel? Rebekkah? Rose?

Footsteps pound down the hall as the door swings open and that servant bursts into the room. "Martha! What have I told you about entering unannounced?"

The girl covers her mother and backs out.

He turns back to Joan, but the moment has passed.


	7. second chances

"You only live once," is a human justification for so many things. It make even make sense for them. But what would the Gallifreyan version of it be—"you only live thirteen times?" Not nearly as short or interesting.

Now, they also say you never get a second chance. But he doesn't believe that either. He's given second chances to so many enemies. Sontarans. Slitheen. Cybermen. Daleks. He's lost track of how many times he's faced the 'last' Daleks. Every time he thinks this is their last chance, they prove him wrong. Maybe he should stop thinking it, even if he still says it.

But that isn't the biggest problem with the saying. The worst part is when it is true. It is true with his friends. He didn't have a second chance to take Sarah to Gallifrey, to save Adric or say goodbye to Susan. No second chances for his friends.

Only his enemies.


	8. nonverbal

"There was a war."

"Like this one?" Jenny's tone—so naive, so simple—almost makes you laugh. A child of the Machine, born to die fighting underground in a pointless struggle. Messaline is the world to her, just as a human child can't imagine the other side of town, much less another country.

"Bigger. Much bigger." Fleets of Renegade and Imperial Daleks, vessels of Cybermen, ships of Sontarans—trust them to meddle in any fight—remnants of the last Great Vampires, the Nightmare Child…

"And you fought," Your words at the Crucible come back to haunt you. _I was there at the Fall of Arcadia. Someday, I might even come to terms with that. _"And killed."

The faces of all you ever killed in the war fall across you mind like a storm of banana-sized hail. Weapons. Your own hands feeling foreign after taking so many lives. "Yes."

"Then how are we different?"

Five words. Three short sentences, ending with one of the hardest questions you've ever been asked.

How are we different?

She has only a definition of war, only facts loaded into her brain like so many data files. But when you look at her, you see your whole race peering through her eyes, their demands screaming through her innocent question.

How are we different?


	9. Doctor

Even though he is the Doctor, he's far from a general practitioner of medicine. He can't be there every time humanity hiccups, after all. Instead, he only intervenes when traditional medicines fail, when alien invasions threaten like cancer, and the only treatment has fatal side effects. The outcome is far from certain when the Doctor comes to call.


	10. Wanted

Young, intelligent girls willing to travel time and space in a slightly temperamental TARDIS. See the wonders of the universe with a brilliant tour guide. Includes a first-rate fitness program, limitless wardrobe, and live entertainment. I am older than I look, but I have a soft side behind my serious face and technobabble. Apply at the nearest police box.


End file.
